Thursday, July 15, 2010

Choosing Love while in Anger

So to all of you that think I walk in a cloud I have you to know that I am in constant choosing :-D
which means
Life brings with it many gifts which sometimes looks like curses, which are when the button is pushed without your expectations.
Myself I had some recent events that sent me in to days, I mean days of anger.
I could not shake it.
I looked at it, analized it, did all the right things that I knew to do, but could not shake it, it was like I stepped in a bear trap and it was latched and I did not know how to get out of it.
So in my process and knowing I lived on the principal of my understanding of love, that this is definitely not the way to be... to be in the moment of love is where I am to be...not in the moment of anger!!! No Way.
So without knowing how to shake it, i surrendered to it, and meditated on Love, breathing Love in and breathing Love out nothing more.
While washing dishes and being aware of my thoughts, yes being aware is very important, I saw where my thoughts were taking me and that was rambling into more anger, each point going to the next. What I did at this awareness realizing that I really needed help in this, I really just said I LET GO OF THIS, AND I LET GOD, I CHOOSE TO BE WHO I AM, I CHOOSE TO BE LOVE, TO ACT IN LOVE TO BE LOVE TOWARDS EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING, ESPECIALLY TO MYSELF, I CANNOT BE LOVE IF I AM CARRYING ANGER, ANGER IS THE DESTROYER, I WILL NOT ALLOW THAT TO BE IN MY BODY OR LIFE... SO I LET GO AND LET GOD HELP ME TO BE ME, I CHOOSE ME, I CHOOSE LOVE... took a deep breath and started acting ...yes for just releasing did give me the power to act/be in Love... AND i felt love coming into me, it was wonderful
and as the day went on and my husband came home, and he was the primary focus of my anger, when the anger tried to show its face to me again, i took a deep breath, and chose loving action, saying i will not allow this anger to destroy me... and the simple act of choosing love, really lightened me up, soon i forgot what it was I was angry over.
Later, because I had let go of it, I actually was able to see what it was I really was angry about, and also talk about it, in a loving way, to my husband. It was wonderful truly wonderful the FREEING experience and the feeling all over my body of the release of this Anger, and the Joy and happiness that filled me and our relationship because of LETTING GO, AND CHOOSING LOVE.