Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Lessons Judging a childhood

I  have been blessed these days to heal issues that were very  painful, to heal and see what each of my siblings have been carrying for years.  We each have a different story for we each experienced our pain differently.  Each had moments worse than the other, and some better.  WE did not talk to each other much as children nor as adults. 
Our life went separate ways and rarely meeting each other, and the pain of our childhood always the shadow not seen and always constant in our lives.  Keeping us away from each other.  Buttons would be pushed and off to our corner we fled.  Surviving the best we could.
We found each other again. And in our Joy of coming together I bought up a subject I was not aware would cause pain in my brother and sister.  And out from the shadows of our heart came all the pain and judgement.  Long forgotten memories and pains, too aweful for anyone even our selves to remember.  Here we were AGAIN LETTING THE PAST BRING PAIN TO THE NOW. 
We got through it, through it with LOVE, patience and facing the truth. However much was learned ...especially about Choices and how we hold onto pain of the past that hurt the NOW

The wisdom of my sister Linda, put our issue so beautifully ... the past is the past and we should not let IT desturb our NOW.

So now that we have seen felt and faced STUFF buried deep and forgotten or unknown ect. It is time to let go of that and live our new life in Love. We are adults now well over 40 :-D and it is time to live in our current time, to share our life NOW to walk with each other in Gratitude and Love. Sharing the hidden treasures that are our garden that we created from the compost pile of our past. Sharing the treasure that we have found and created from the treasures we DID find in our childhood... the gifts we got because of that experience.

My hun says all the time we create our own reality... and i say we did darn well with the seeds we carried in our pockets, with the yarn and material Linda found, with the tools and soil Steve found and me with my words and counsel and healings I have done, and I have been blessed to do emotional and physical healing (using the herbal knowledge or clues Grandma taught me and the gifts of Spirit God gave me) we have been blessed. And I see although each of us have had our share of pain, as adults we continued to learn and become better for it, and having a STRONG CONNECTION WITH GOD... AS IF GOD HAS HAD US IN HIS HANDS ALL ALONG... PROTECTING, LOVING , TEACHING....

NOW saying all that
i wish to say...

we were children ANY THING DONE IN THE PAST was done by children... IN PAIN ... do you know how children act up when they are in pain and in need... they get mean and they do things to get attention... they get mischievous, they get destructive...all crying out for LOVE ... acting out against who ever is there

We each have our shadows

We each acted up... I am grateful to know what i did.... for i have seen my report card of my life, that i started off one way and CHOSE ANOTHER... choosing Love instead of the self destructive anger and ways of my childhood

i left it all behind... we were children

do we judge a child forever ... and blame an adult for the child mis action

yes humanity does and it is sad how many people have been condemned because of an act as a child... I have learned a lot these days....and in my life I have held resentments and lost much quality time with family due to an action of our childhood.  What a waste of time and the gift of love lost ...however we have the NOW and the now is full of gifts once we let go of STUFF and embrace the gifts that life has to offer in Love

We were children and as teenager well how many teens do you know make great decisisons... i appologize for leaving you behind Linda... I did not know you loved me or wanted to be with me... as you said we were separated by something that kept feeding us against each other...

No worries we cannot change the past...

We are here in the NOW and the now is all that matters

we are no longer children

our life

our choices

begin NOW


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